You just made me feel so damn special
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
