Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
