I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
