Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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