so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you didnt know i had herpes?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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