break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
