I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I want to make a zoo with you.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
