On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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