You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
