About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Randomize
