Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
