whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
