I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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