Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
