SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
