Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
