Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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