the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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