Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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