Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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