I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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