I think I died a long time ago.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
