OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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