I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize