I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
