carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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