Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
