its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize