You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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