24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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