let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
