Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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