Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
