Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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