You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
