dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
