they need to just BURY HIM!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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