He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
