Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
