So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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