I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
