My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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