I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
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it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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