I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
