i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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