Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
