"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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