drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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