did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
