Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
