his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i dont even know how to be here
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
