Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
