Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
