Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
