Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
