I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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