u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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