look no pants
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
