she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
