just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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